A SKYRIDER PRODUCTION ♥

http://the-skyrider.tumblr.com/

2010-09-21T22:22:00.002+08:00

You know what to do .

Moving on !

2010-09-20T23:25:00.001+08:00

This picture kinda explains how I feel now .

Hey people !
So yes , the above picture explains the state I'm in currently . I'm rather contented , but of course , it can get better too !
Like I'm slowly emerging from a pool of distress . BREAKTHROUGH BREAKTHROUGH BREAKTHROUGH !!! It's cominggggggggggggg ~

Alright , I shall just do a quick post about today .
Wake up in the morning and everything is satisfactory until I hopped on the lorry and turned on the radio and my favourite songs are on all the way till I reached school ! What's more , I was the LAST person to reach school . How blessed !! ♥
So I was able to focus well during geography class (fyi , first time ever) while sitting beside sayang which made lesson better too !
After that it was maths and I was able to focus as well !
Blahblahblah , relief teacher came and I took a short nap , nua-ed in toilet with fur and sayang , blahblahblah , school ended .
Head down to Clarke Quay , lovely place , fur bought Sticky and then walked and settled down at a table outside Marrakesh ? Relac , satsat . Then we headed to Liang Court and settled down Macdonald's and studied and then we went to explore the place . Like since it's haunted , everything we will seem more thrilling ! ♥ , the architecture of the building is always strange . Not only that , there's a part of Liang Court that has it's door nailed , and it's old...
Anyway , we obviously didn't get any discoveries or whatsoever and we went to Saizeriya for dinner ! ♥ , ordered Spicy Sausage Pizza , Chicken Doria and 8pcs Chicken Wings and we shared like one lovely family . Aww.. ♥ !
Then we talked about believing in the paranormal myths of the world .

Like ohmygawd , furball and sayang believes that mermaids exist but erzi and I don't . However , erzi and I believes that there're witches in this world .
Noo , I don't mean those that sits on flying broomsticks , but I meant those that literally practice witchcraft . Hmmm , scaryyyyy ~

Ohwell , thereafter we sat by the river from day to night . Sang songs , chatted and I introduced them to Seasalt & Caramel icecream !! ♥ ; Wanyi ~~~
THEN GO HOME .

I WANT MY WHITE/PINK/RED DAIHATSU COPEN ! I WANT MY SONY BLOGGIE CAMCORDER ! I WANT A NEW PINK LAPTOP WITH IN-BUILT WEBCAM ! I WANT TO G-MASK MY PHONE AGAIN ! I WANT MY "♥ZOE" HANDPHONE STRAP ! I WANT MY "ZOE" ANKLET ! I WANT MORE CLOTHES !!! I WANT MY BLACK HIGH HEELS SHOES ! I WANT A POUCH ! I WANT MY BIBLE VERSE BACK TATTOO ! I WANT HUGGABLE SOFT TOYS ! I WANT A NEW HANDBAG !
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ; after N's . ♥

10 irritants of Facebook !

2010-09-17T23:46:00.001+08:00

Well , Facebook is like.. a major part of life .

Hello earthlings .
I wanna rant about what I don't like about Facebook .
As inspired by Julian Smith .

1. Facebook pokes .
Initially , it's a little cute poking your friends but over time , it gets so bloody irritating .
Everytime I login to Facebook , there's that notification of who poked you and such and so it was also initially convenient for me to click 'poke back' . Unfortunately , it might be seemingly convenient for the other party as well and poke war never ends !
So yeah , soon it got on my nerves so I just 'x' all the pokes away .
Furthermore , these Facebook pokes are really useless . Literally . Like some pain in the ass .
The only awesome thing about it was that I used it to annoy some bitch who deleted me as friend , because you can poke anyone !

2. Bad photo tags .
It's mad sickening can . Like your friend took a totally unglam photo of you and still tagged you on Facebook .
Not only will I get irritated , I will get really concerned if my friends saw this buang photo of me before I removed tag . And also those idiots tagging me on no-degree contact lenses and clothes that might not fit me because I am fat .
And please lor , I will delete or edit away unglam photos of you all de , so you guys don't have to do this to me......... I look unglam or unusually disgusting , just delete . Don't need waste your time tagging me .

3. Liking wrong statuses .
Another irritating rubbish . So I happily 'like' your status because it's meaningful or such and the next thing I know , my notifications were flooded by the comments on your status and it'll be more irritating when the comments are totally irrelevant and I don't even know half the people that are commenting .
Totally regretted liking your status .

4. Facebook chats .
I just find them bloody irritating . In fact , the most irritating feature of Facebook .
The last time some bitch talked to me via Facebook and my entire lappy crashed . That's the reason why I always appear offline .

5. Groups that require you to like .
To view something that disappoints me . Not as appealing to me .

6. Mind intro ?
Which includes the old-fashion 'friendster' comments . Like ohmygawd , move on please .
Like please , if you wanna make friends , use a better approach instead of Facebook chat or messages . It's a total turn off .
Better approach like posting awesome statuses or comments that deserves a 'like' . Witty and humour is pure attractiveness .

7. Game requests .
I don't play Facebook games . It's irritating when I have to ignore 22 Cafe World neighbour or menu request . Or even Mafia Wars and PetVille ?

8. Advertisements .
I never liked online adverts anyway . I only like those funny or meaningful ones on the television .
But anyway , Facebook has many weird ads , some are awesome whereas some are weird...

9. Deleted comments or wall post .
It appears on my notifications and when I click it , it's gone ! Cheat my feelings .

10. Photo shrinkage .
You get these right , like seriously , I click on your thumbnail to get a bigger and clearer photo of you and it becomes smaller . Argh . Bloody irritating .

So yeah , Facebook has so many irritating stuffs .
But it's still mad awesome and important for my social life man ! ♥

Madloves !! ♥

BlackBerry and it's potential !!

2010-09-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

So this is totally explains the BlackBerry's logo . Gosh , I am retarded .

Hello beautiful people ! :)
I suppose you people should have heard about the news that the government is contemplating a ban on BlackBerry smartphones in Singapore as well .
As a BB addict and blogger , I MUST RANT ABOUT THIS ADVERSITY THAT MIGHT HAPPEN .

So as stated on the news , the high level of encryption on data transfers via BBM has been one of the biggest advantages for many BB users , has now turned out to be a grave security threat for many Asian countries ? It's so high that even the professionals in the world have a hard time cracking the encryptions .
Like what the hell , I didn't know that my BB has the ability to cause "serious social, judicial and national security repercussions" . And upon knowing this , I wasted a mad load of time daydreaming about how I would seize control of the national security and appear on news all around the world and I will be famous !! ♥♥♥ , but that's not even the reason why they would ban it ..
But of course , there're people who are way more intelligent than me who had already found BB's potential to do that , like the terrorist gangs in the past ?

But hello ? I would rather they tackle such security problems than ban it , I mean , it'll still be available somewhere , somehow , illegally . And since their concern is about this .
And for goodness sake , I believe that there are a hell lot more security threats than a BlackBerry smartphone.... I bought it for $38 with a renewed line ! ♥
And you see , they're even selling it at such an affordable price .

I totally support the US spokesman , Crowley , for supporting BlackBerry !!! Madloves .
Or he might want to use it to terrorise people too ! Wahahahaa . Conspiracy theories , my favourite ! ♥

Okay back to topic , I suppose the reason why the India government is so concerned is because it already has such lousy security as compared to the States .
And Singapore has a good security . I really don't see the need to go to the extent of banning it .
Imagine I'm a businesswoman and I create something so awesome the government cannot handle so the government made me close down my company.... ;( , like so sad please .

.. I feel like I'm blogging out of selfish or biased reasons , because I really love BlackBerry !!
It's so awesome . ♥ ; BB Curve ! :)

Where'd you go , I missed you so..

2010-09-15T21:36:00.005+08:00

Yes . I am waiting .

12th - After a couple of months , "Can you be my girlfriend !" "Yes ."
13th - You had no school , so we couldn't contact .
14th - I waited but you didn't contact me . I contacted your brothers but they weren't with you .
15th - I found out something . Now , I'll just wait .

And guess what , I don't fucking care what others might say about you or how far you are from me or how hard we take to get to each other or violent you had been etc..
Just so because you are my boyfriend .

Open your facebook inbox when you return because I'm flooding them daily . I love you . I miss you .

Cause you're amazing , just the way you are .

2010-09-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hey guys , I'm lying down on my bed and rewinding on life .
And I want to dedicate this blog post to a few important people in my life , who have made my life worthwhile . I don't know what will I be without them . Seriously . They're the best blessings God has placed in my life . I don't know how many thanks would be enough to show my graditude towards the love they've showered upon me , what they've done for me despite my horrible character .

First of all is mum and dad .
Of course , they're the ones who showered the most unconditional love for me besides God .
They're totally awesome parents , raised me up as a happy and healthy girl .
I used to think that they didn't love me until the time I literally saw how much they were concerned and worried and protected me at court .
And how much they meant to me especially when I was in girls home .
Despite all the shit I've left them to clear , they still acknowledge me as their beloved daughter and wants the best for me .
I love you mummy ! I love you daddy ! :*

The next person would be Wanyi .
My best friend since primary 4 and friends since primary 1 !
I can't explain how much wanyi has done for me in my life , I mean , who am I seriously .
I think other than mum , dad and oswin , she the one who tahan my bad temper and attitude all these while .
Although we're not as close as how we were in the past , no one can ever replace Wanyi as my best friend . Yes , NONE OF YOU .
No matter how far we are , where we are , what happens , wanyi , you'll always be my best friend .

Then , it'll be my two younger siblings .
Oswin and Michelle .
Oswin is my lil brother . My one and only blood brother . He treats me the best in the family .
And I love him a lot a lot . And I'll protect him no matter what because he's my one and only lil brother who tells me what happens in life everyday .
And he depends on me , because I'm his big sister .
I will protect my lil brother with my life .

And my sister , Michelle .
She the next person who tolerated my temper and still continued to stay so close .
And the only one I can really see as a younger sister . She's mad similar to Oswin .
My sister who has seen me through my worst and best times in life and been there for me .
I love her a lot a lot as a sister . And also no one can replace this sister in my life .

I'll never forget these people forever . Forever .

X factor 2010 !! :D

2010-09-13T02:00:00.005+08:00

Hey guys , I've been watching X factor for the past few days for my entertain purposes .
So yeah , here are some videos to share ! :D

Cher Lloyd is mad hot please !! I love her voice , her uniqueness , her style !
Madloves Cher !! ♥♥♥
She caused the song Turn My Swag On to replay repeatedly in my head ! :O

They're simply amusing . Seriously ! I mean , their mentality is a little low...
I went :O !! LOL ! I find Lisa more irritating , like her personality . And Abby has a bad attitude .

The guy is weird and he is gay , and the girl doesn't have that much of confidence as well .
But my impression of the guy changed when he really supported the girl to sing her solo , which gain my respect from him . What an awesome friend !
This is something I should learn from .

Tom Richard ! His voice is awesome ~ HOT !! ♥♥♥
And he has a lot of stress from the judges ! Simon ~
And the audience are mad supportive of him .

And this is overall the more hilarious audition .
But I respect her for her attitude towards this ! She's a single mother and she accepts comments innocently . Like , doesn't she sense the criticism and sarcasm in the judges feedback ?

I love Simon the judge the most .
Cher Lloyd ~~~~~ HOTNESS . ♥

And I love my boyfriend ~! 12th . ♥

Littlest family moments

2010-09-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

Being happy , is being content at what you have now .

Hello people . I shall blog today .
And fyi , I jumped of a flight of stairs and fell to the ground and hurt my left ass bone and heel and cut my right leg....
So yes , I have the tendency to procrastinate until my wounds are swollen and infected before doing something about it . 我知道 , 的确有一点心理变态 . (Y)
And as a result , my wounds affected my sleep and I only slept 4 hours.... On a holiday...... HOW RIDICULOUS .

But it's kinda like a blessing in disguise , I had breakfast with mum and dad !! :D
And we talked a lot of stuffs . From all the nonsenses , jokes and laughter with mum to all the political opinions on things like ERP , marijuana , society , government , blahblah with dad .

Today , I feel blessed as I look at my parents .
Mum and dad are completely opposite . Literally . Which meets up to my needs , wise dad and crazy mum .
My dad is very wise . I madloves his mentality , which is why there're certain things that I can tell him and not to mum . I love the way he thinks and handle things .
My mum is nonsensical . She is so mad sarcastic and crazy . Like me ? ._. , and there're times I love being with mum so much more than dad .
Then princess loves me a lot . He treats me very well , shares with me about him , makes me laugh . Aww , I love princess a lot .

I HAVE A CUTE FAMILY . SO CUTE . EEEEEEE !!! ♥

And last time my wounds is Oswin help me clean de ! Then morning mummy help me clean and then night is daddy help me clean !
幸福 .

And so today I went out with Yanling and Meijuan and nua all over vivo . Madloves . And Darren's hair is so much nicer now ! And I am so mad envious of his tattoos ?!
Other than that I feel a little horrible until I saw Wanyi and her NP bestie !!

Eyecandy . ♥

Being slightly judgmental .

2010-09-08T23:04:00.003+08:00

Right , as you can derive from the title of this blog post ..

Okay , it's not a good attribute but , yeah , I'm human . I have opinions .

I haven't been blogging regularly and what's more , I've been blogging unimportant and love-related stuffs about me which most probably cause me to lose a big amount of readers... Aww..

But it doesn't matter ! Blogging's for fun .

So yeah , I couldn't get any inspiration for my English Paper 1 today but I could simply grab an inspiration to blog from most of my tweets . Yes , go stalk me on Twitter . And what the fuck this entire paragraph is already so irrelevant .

This totally shows the fluidity of my mindddddddd ~ Which might also contribute to my fickle-mindedness , being able to switch from one thing to another instantly ! Woahhh ~

Okay , back to topic !

What am I being judgmental about ? Well , GRAMMAR . Which is so hypocritical of me and I , myself , hate hypocrites which makes me more hypocrite . Double kill .

Yah , it's because I make a lot of grammatical errors myself .

Like ohmygoodness , I seriously need to keep focus on the main topic of my blog post .

FUCK . I don't even feel like blogging about my comments on some people's english anymore .

Nevertheless , I'll still blog about it .

So I came across some random people's tweets , auto-biography or whatsoever and true enough , I don't know whether to categorise them under the New Generation Ahlians but yah , I just assume . Let these random people be NGAL .

And these people act all professional in their english , which is rather obvious , and make a hell lot of grammatical mistakes . No , the entire thing is a total grammatical error , which is rather humourous to me..........

YES I KNOW . I AM IN NO POSITION TO LAUGH BECAUSE MY ENGLISH ISN'T ALL THAT EXCELLENT . BUT.... SOMETIMES IT'S JUST THAT AMUSING .

I wouldn't want to give examples because it might induce discord .

So that's it ! All I have got to blog about .

I have no idea why the heck do I drag the entire blog post but OMG my style is coming back lahhhhh !!!

Madloves !! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Taking a step back .

2010-08-31T21:52:00.004+08:00

It does applies .

After all the things that had happened , I realised , the worst decisions are usually made out of anger , confusion or pressure .
This is especially worse for someone like me , who is mad fickle-minded .
Thus , I've learnt not to make any decisions at all at that moment , take a step back to observe the entire situation , give it some thought , perhaps pray , then see how it goes . And lastly of course , let nature then take its course .

The above picture is self-explanatory enough .
And it's rather applicable to my post for today .

Taking a butterfly as happiness , for example .
It's as if I've been trying to catch this butterfly in a rugged and bumpy place , causing me to hurt myself in the process of it .
The more I tried to catch it , the more I hurt myself . What a killer butterfly .
Knowing that it would be better if I didn't chase it anymore , I settled down and relax . Somehow , I gave up , although my mind was still on it .
True enough , the butterfly flew towards me . It rest with me and I was contented .
Just at this moment another butterfly caught my eye , however , I didn't want to chase it because it took me so much to get the previous butterfly to finally settle down with me .
Due to overwhelming temptation , I shoo-ed the second butterfly away .
After sometime , I realised that the second butterfly would be a much better one , but I am too afraid to go catch it .

Okay , my so-called and totally failed parable is so anti-climax and nonsensical to an extent I might not even understand it myself .
Forget it ! I'm doing this for the sake of keeping good blogging habits .

Butterflies ? I should just get out of this and move to a more fruitful path . ;D

How ironic things can get..

2010-08-28T13:00:00.004+08:00

I mad love surreal things .

Yes , how ironic things can get .
I suppose irony happens all around us in life , I have no idea why .
And I like irony ! Because it's like , so abnormal ! I love weird things ; unique .

26th . You guys may know that this date is of great significance to me .
So things were rather depressing and such but I wouldn't elaborate on it because it's unnecessary .

So yeah , something helped me in getting me into the type of moment I longed for . Totally dramatic , nostalgic or whatever you call it . Like those moments that might happen in a movie or drama . All I knew was that I was freaking happy or something ?

Now the irony comes , this thing that got me into this so-called perfect moment was also the thing that erased the details of it . Leaving only a very vague memory of what happened . Even if I knew how I felt , I couldn't remember what had happened exactly as well . Which... sucks .

Ohwell , that's about it .

Other than that , I'm rather satisfied with life . HAH !

Madlovessssss !!

Twisted concept .

2010-08-25T18:23:00.004+08:00

You're waiting for a train .

A train that will take you far away .

You can't be sure where it will take you .

But it doesn't matter , because we'll be together .

Do you remember when you told me that you would love me forever ? Then you break it to me that it was the past .
Guess what I've learnt along the way , forever exist only after death .
The past few days , I've been struggling between dreams and reality .

I thought that I was really happy , until the night falls . That's when depression spirals into me .
Then I thought , am I really living in denial ? That I'm actually not happy at all ?
Well , it's true , I'm not all that happy although I feel that I'm really that happy ? Okay , a little .. Contradicting .

Then I thought , everything seems like a never-ending nightmare , I refused to believe that it's reality .
Sometimes , I really treat my horrible life as a nightmare .
And the only way to wake up from your dream ? Is to die , in your dream .
Maybe , if I die , I'll finally wake up from this nightmare . And yes , I can perhaps see your forever fulfilled .
Maybe , you'll love me like how you really did .

26th is coming soon . And amusingly yet sadly , we have never celebrated it before .
HAHAHA . Madloves .

I feel a little twisted . I am chasing after a dream that I'll definitely find myself waking up from .
Why do I still choose to chase after this dream ?
Well , it could be because it's the best I've ever had .

Up till now ? Being a little numb , I can tell you , this love I have for you ?
Well , it can be forever .

I AM STUPID !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!! And I wanna die before your eyes .

Learn from yesterday . Live for today . Hope for tomorrow .

2010-08-22T23:16:00.002+08:00

Hello . Today I'm a happy girl because I had an awesome day ! :)
Woke up , felt weird in a good way and ate wholemeal bread ! Awesome start of the day !
Then rushed down to cine for Inception and OMG the movie was so fucking nice !!!
I shall totally blog about it some other day because I'm talking to Clare on the phone now and she ripped me away from my inspirations !
So , my blogpost will be rather boring but nevertheless I shall still blog because it's a good habit .
Then I realised I ate a lot today !! Popcorns , crabstick , few best fries forever , few spoons of frolicks , KFC porridge , yakult . OMG . For the whole day .
BUT I AM HAPPY . It's been long since I've fellowshipped . And I had a totally fruitful time , even revelations from Qiming !! :)
Totally awesome dayyyy .

Back to the quote of my life . Live loving . Love living .
I shall upgrade my life all over again . Improvise ! :)

Goodbye to you .

2010-08-21T23:22:00.007+08:00

I walk alone .

It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time .
I want you , but I'm not giving in this time .

I don't even know what do I love about you , perhaps , it was because of who I was when I was with you .
This time , I am letting go of you once and for all , no matter how much it hurts me . The harshest and fastest way to end this misery .

The truth is , my life will not change , in fact , it'll be better without you .
I would have held on if I knew my worth .

Anyway , you're not the old you . You dont love me as much as you did . You dont treat me like how you did . You disappoint me everyday . Your words are all empty . You break all your promises .
I have lost all the reasons to be with you . I had nothing wrong with you , I could make every exception , but it's how you treat me . I am tired of this .

Goodbye to you . I will not be soft-hearted anymore .

All because I was foolish..

2010-08-20T23:20:00.002+08:00

As a matter of fact , I was totally insignificant .

I've learnt to be heartless . Why ? Because if you have a heart , it'll only be broken .
How foolish of me to actually be compassionate . Well , the stupidest mistake I've made was to love you . FUCK MY LIFE .

You liked me first , be nice to me , made me love you and then dumped me .
All you gave me was shit . You shit all over my life , my entire life was ruined . Of course , I can't blame you , I'd have to blame it on my stupidity . It's not as if I don't know that being with you was wrong .

I sacrificed my entire life to be with you , and all I get in return was shit .
You dumped me , and after I got together with someone else , you wanted me back . How amusing . Once again , I was stupid enough to let go of someone better than you for you . Blame it on myself , why the fuck did I love you wholeheartedly ?
And I was fucking naive to believe that you would actually treat me better . Well , you did , for a couple of days . I had to swallow your rubbish the rest of the time . Foolishly let you hurt the fuck out of me .

All you think about is yourself . So fucking selfish . But that's your character anyway , love is nothing to you . Image , friends , fun or rubbish are all way more important than me .
You want me , but you don't want to commit . And then you claim that you love me , which is utterly bullshit .

I'm a fucking burden to you anyway . Burden that you need to go to school for me , that you need to spend time with me , which you don't .
Well , you're free now . ;)

This is the end . End of us .
I had enough of your fucking nonsense . It's your character .
I'd rather choose an instant death than to experience slow death . It's your attitude and character that's killing me .

I will forget about you . I will be heartless . I won't love again . I would rather be lonely than be with you again . FUCK YOU VERY MUCH BITCH .
Thanks for nothing .

When I was young....

2010-08-19T20:29:00.004+08:00

My innocence stolen without my permission .

When I was younger everything seemed different . Like more magical , big , adventurous , mysterious and whatsoever .
I didn't understand why there was a need to switch off the television , lights , fan or close the refrigerator when there wasn't a need for it , I always got scolded without knowing the proper reason until I grew older . My mentality was that electricity would still be used when it's on .

Due to childlike innocence , I used to believe in nearly everything people say , well , naive . Like when I looked out of my window and see those cargo thingy and asked my grandpa what it was , he said that they were giraffes and I happily believed it until I was primary 3 . Though I felt very blessed for a fact that I do not need to visit the zoo just to see giraffes . (They really looked like giraffes..) *look is past tense .
I used to think that cotton candy , soft toys , cushions and such were made of the clouds in the sky . I believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy . Unfortunately I was made to believe that ghost exist and I still do .
Fortunately enough as well , I believed that God exist , only when I was young , I portrayed God as Buddha , GuanYin and Jesus . -.-

There were also many things that I used to not understand . Then I was always dying to know why or how or what , etc.. In kindergarten , I asked my friend why was he called ahbunehneh and he got really sad .
Of course now , I do wish that at times I can get back the 'misunderstanding' in certain areas in life . In lay man's term , simple-minded . Not absent-minded .
Oooh ! And I remembered I could forget about negative things easily , like , nothing to worry about !

And also , I could turn nearly anything into an adventure ! With little knowledge of the outside world , everything seems to be a mystery .
And I would imagine all sorts of rubbish . Ohoh ! And I loved to play pretend . (Y)

How I wish I was much younger again...
Innocence.. Before I was exposed to this worn out , broken and cruel world .

If I had a choice , I'd choose not to love . Because it's so fucking painful . FUCK LOVE .

Delightfulness ! ♥

2010-08-16T21:40:00.003+08:00

I love it when you give me random kisses .

Hello .

Today I had an awesome day because you treat me right .
You made it a point to come to school and even lost sleep for it .
Not only that , you finally paid more attention to me !
I can see every little effort you make and it makes me smile .

Today I feel happy . Really very happy .
As if my life is perfect ! :)

<3 - This means love , and simple maths shows that it means lesser than three .
Meaning there'll be no third party in our relationship , only the two of us .
We'll keep holding on to each other till the end okay ?

And this time , I am gonna hold you so f-king tight because I really cannot afford to lose you again .
Sorry if I've intruded your privacy today..... ;x ! I'm making a public apology dangsin ! My pride is not as important as you , but of course not to an extend that I should be shameless . Bleah .
And I wont let anything affect our relationship ! :@ , not even myself !

I cannot lose you . CANNOT .

And I've been maligned by a lot of people recently . Mad sickening .

Love the way you lie .

2010-08-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

.. EPIC .

Chan yoo mai dai ta mai mee koon .

2010-08-13T12:11:00.009+08:00

Ya ting chan .

I thought that it'd be better , but that move I made caused me to smother myself .
That's when I realised , I can't live without you . Yah , that dramatic .
I felt really really horrible . Like OMG !! :'(

Why is it like this ? Where I am really sucks .
Will you rather be lonely or be with your boyfriend without his attention ?
I hate that I need you so fucking much .

I hate needing your affection and missing you all the time , because it really feels fucking horrible .
Yet , I cannot let you go . I will not let you go .
I want you mofo-ing badly , but I'm afraid my obsession will drive you away .
Where I'm standing is hurting me . Either way , I am in pain .

ilyaiwtbwy . Remember this ? I wished that you need me like how you did in the past .

We just FTW ! \m/

2010-08-11T22:27:00.004+08:00

Somehow , this seems like a political picture .

Go ahead and try out your inference skills .

Many hilarious things are happening around me and gosh , I feel like I've slacken . Which is bad . Ignorance please Zoe !
You know , we are like people of different frequency ? I doubt you can understand what I'm laughing at .

You know , I'm like freaking tempted now to post and elaborate on little jokes I'm witnessing . As well as counter everything back . But no , this means I'm taking something that doesn't affect me as regard . NO WAY MAN .
And ohwell , I also dont want to be an abomination or sow discord or whatsoever .
FuckyeahPEACE !! ^^v

I'm loving beebee maximumz !! I'm a happy girl ! :D
And OMG I feel like eating again . OMG .

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

Reminiscing our ridiculous love story .

2010-08-10T22:54:00.006+08:00

Remembering our past .

Dear 26 .

26th . That's the date when we accepted each other , officially , for falling in love . Also when everything went haywire in my life .
When it all started . When you asked me to be your gan bibi . -_-
We didn't officially got into a relationship , but , it's complicated . Others wouldn't be able comprehend where we were .
I still remember the date when I first kissed you . On the 29th at the chalet , accidentally . The moment our lips touched I ran away , like OMG , mad embarrassing .

Ohwell , we have a lot of memories .

The first 26th wasn't celebrated , but we were obviously madly in love with each other .
We went through quite a lot together . When the entire world was against us . Remember ? When literally everything wanted to tear us apart , we just kept holding on .

The second 26th was an entire downcast .
Around this period of time , I was giving you a hell lot of rubbish . Being disappointed and such . Drama .

The third 26th didn't happened , a day ago you abandoned me .
Well , all I could do was cry and be suicidal .

The fourth 26th was still very depressing .

So is the fifth 26th .
You love someone else . I thought I kinda got over you but I nearly died upon hearing that you got together with her .

The sixth 26th and I still wanted you back badly .
On the way , your love got together with me .

The seventh 26th . I joked about it because I've got together with someone else .
Nevertheless , it still affects me .

Recently , we patched .
I can NEVER forget you . Or rather , not remember you in the daily things that I did .
From how I blogged , it's as if we're in some sort of emo love . Seems that way .
Despite ALL of that , we came back to each other . Which shows that the foundation of our love was deep , strong and real .
We have gone through so much , against all odds .
Our love has been put to a test . No , many tests .

So let's keep on keeping on . Loving each other fervently .
Please please please please please don't leave me again .
And hold onto me tightly .

Now , it's chapter 2 . This is how I love you .
The eighth 26th is coming in 16 more days ! ;)

Something 'Bout Love - David Archuleta

2010-08-10T00:29:00.004+08:00

Hey guys . Here's David Archuleta's new MV . Something 'Bout Love . Enjoy .
And have you guys noticed something 'bout him ? He has a big mouth . Like literally . Just look at him singing , with his , mouth .

Every night it’s all the same
You’re frozen by the phone
You wait, something’s changed
You blame yourself every day
You’d do it again
Every night

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh
It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees
There’s something ’bout love that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh…
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

When you were young
Scared of the night
Waiting for love to come along
And make it right
Your day will come, the past is gone
So take your time
And live and let live

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh
It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees
There’s something ’bout love that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh…
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

Don’t fight
Don’t hide
Those stars in your eyes (in your eyes)
Let em’ shine tonight
Let em’ shine tonight

Hang on
Hang in
For the ride of your life
It’s gonna be alright
Hold on tight

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh

There’s something ’bout love
That breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh
It sets you free

There’s something ’bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain
It’ll bring you to your knees (to your knees)
There’s something ’bout love that breaks your heart
Whoa oh oh oh…
But don’t give up
There’s something ’bout love

Whoa oh oh oh..
Set’s you free
There’s something bout love
That tears you up
Whoa oh oh oh
You still believe
When the world falls down like the rain

Hopelessness

2010-08-08T10:41:00.002+08:00

Service yesterday was great ! :)

Pastor Mark Conner talks about finding hope in the midst of adversity .

Finding hope in God's presence , purpose and promises in your life . Hope is only as strong as what it is attached to . Like an anchor .

And of course , everything has gotta do with your thinking .

Your beliefs towards your adversity that determines your consequences , be it feeling good or bad about it .

After all , thinking positive is a choice .

I have to admit feeling extremely shitty in my life right now . Shit maximumz .

Shit + Confusion + Loss = ADVERSITY . Totally .

And after what had happened , I will simply follow the flow and not losing my priority in life .

Your presence lingers nearly everywhere , but I have gotta move on . To forget you , is not to remember you . I am choosing not to let thoughts of you take roots in my heart .

As for you , what if we are only held back again by our memories ? Fear attached onto every security you try to give , with my own disbelief .

2010-08-06T21:44:00.001+08:00

Hello . I love you . I have never felt so shitty in my life before . Thank you love . -'-

Hello . I am confused .

2010-08-04T21:46:00.001+08:00

Baik ! Thumbs up Zoe !! (Y)

2010-08-02T19:39:00.003+08:00

I have got nothing to say . Nothing .
Not the first time anyway .
I don't have to do anything .
I lead my life .

Thumbs up ! All I want to do is laugh .

;) , swing swing from the tangles of . My heart is crushed by a former love .

For where your heart is , there your treasure will be also .

2010-07-31T23:32:00.003+08:00

And I hope I'm holding the key to yours as well .

Alright ! Everything is super messy now !
I need to get my priorities right !
Why the heck do I get distracted so freaking easily !?

Everything now is simply mad sickening .
I have no idea what the heck is my priority , like it keeps changing ! Yes , change is a constant in life and it's for the better . Unfortunately this change is not good ! Because it's like totally going against being consistent .
OMG , yes , consistency !
I am totally not consistent . One moment I'm up and the next I'm on the ground . This might explain why I am totally random ; dramatic moodswings .

My motivation to study is definitely inconsistent !
ARGH , Zoe MUST do well for her N'levels please !! D:
Not only that , I get distracted just way too easily . That's another reason for my procrastination .
Also , after I prioritised studying and aiming my goals for doing well , I get all these stress which is rather unnecessary .
Yes , I know that a little stress is good as it pushes and kinda disciplines you but I cannot handle stress ! I will dramatise the entire situation which will complicate and worsens everything and ultimately going crazy and totally not productive .

LIKE OMG WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MYSELF SERIOUSLY .
I FEEL SO FREAKING IRRITATED AT MYSELF FOR BEING SO IRRITATING AND FATTENING .

Aaaaaahhh !!! There's so many things I wanna do . OMG .
FEELS LIKE INSOMNIA + DISTURBIA .
精神分裂 . (Y)

Get well soon hubby . WE ARE GAY ! :D

Your bike accident

2010-07-29T22:39:00.004+08:00

One day I'll savour the delicacy of our memories with you again .

Hey love .

You're always making me worried .
Every night and day with that stupid mistress of yours !
I was dumbfounded upon receiving the news that you got into an accident again .
This is why I worry , because I knew something like this would happen again , judging by your character .
The moment I heard your voice in pain when I called you after your accident , my heartwrenched . And I told dad because I didn't know what to do .
I really have to thank my superdaddy a maximumz for helping baby and rainey out .

Today , upon seeing you , I felt another punched in my heart again .
You were in pain , bandaged , high fever , shivering , weak and all , I totally .... Idk how to explain but I was simply in pain as well .
You were so stubborn , refusing to see doctor . So all I could do was to use the traditional method to subside the fever of yours and to be there for you .
You know how much I really want to scream , cry and kneel down just to ask you to see a doctor ? I know damn drama please .
Of course , thanks to Sharon sister who talked to me and that period of time did made me chill .

I didn't bear to leave you but I eventually did .

I dunt want to control you too much , if you really insist on riding the bike , then go ahead .

Please note that I love you .
Today I felt like I died a little . Like health decrease you know in those games ?

You shall never see my cry . ;)

When I'm with you , I'll make every second count cause I miss you , whenever you're not around .

2010-07-27T21:52:00.003+08:00

When I kiss you , I still get butterflies years from now .

I'll make every second count when I'm with you .

Hey love .
I'm sorry for all the shit yesterday .
I just wanted your attention so badly and all this distress I feel inside of me .
Like missing you so badly . Like so 辛苦 .
And this first time I actually feel so unimportant .

But it's okay ! :D
I will do my very best as your wife .
I want to be more understand you more ! I want to be with you all the time ! I want to support you through your days ! I want to stick with you through thick and thin ! I want to lie beside you and talk for hours ! I want to hold you in my arms like forever ! I want to be there for you always ! I want to be the one you think of the first thing in the morning ! I want to make you really proud ! I want to be someone you really long for ! I want to be your best girlfriend ! I want to work with you for your dreams ! I want to kiss you daily ! I want to make you happy every moment you're with me ! I want to escape with you to another place only for us ! I want to spend as long as I can with you ! I want to die with you ! I want to give you everything you'll need ! I want to be as one with you ! I want to cook for you ! I want to be the one you'll turn to in times of trouble ! I want to sacrifice for you ! I want to be your one and only ! I want to be all you'll ever need !
I WANT YOU .
And not only do I want , I shall and I will .

My goal is to be the best Mrs Goh you've ever known ! :D
Yes , until I reach that , not I am not good enough .

Lastly , I love you hubby .
More than you think how much I do .

A dejected laughter

2010-07-26T22:15:00.004+08:00

Hello . It's the 26th today .
I find this date rather amusing .

This is how I feel .
I feel this rush of humour in my bloodstream and yet it's outwardly inexpressive .
I'll end up producing a sort of fake laughter and a rather strained one .
Deep down inside , there's somehow a little piece of bleakness attached to every bit of humour I'm feeling .
The laughter seems hollow as it comes out of my mouth .
Ironically speaking , it feels like a dejected laughter .

I did my best to explain how I laugh at situations like this or upon seeing you .
I have no idea what you did , but I am assertive upon the fact that you're literally a walking joke in my eyes .
Just by catching a glance at you can bring me to laughter , staring at you might just make me guffaw to death .

But ohwell , ignorance to this . ;)

Other than that , maybe I've been expecting too much ?
I know I am not good enough . But I am trying my best .
I still need some love .
And note , if I slip away , it's just because you didn't hold me tight .
I am human . I get tired .

HAHAHA .

I hate my mistress

2010-07-25T02:46:00.003+08:00

"Hi . I get a 10% discount when I dine at MOF !"

Alright , that caption for my photo is a little lame . Well , I am .
So it's about 4am now and I'm blogging mad random stuffs . ;)
I am SOOO suppose to be sleeping right now because this is not good for me !
Like so unhealthy please .

Okay , back to the main topic of my post today .
The title of my post "I HATE MY MISTRESS" , is rather self-explanatory .

My husband has a mistress .
Don't get me wrong , my hubby didn't exactly cheat on me .
After all , I have got the best hubby ever ! Madloves !! :D
Hubby's mistress is this stupid black Honda NSR SP .

Before this stupid bike came along , 50% of hub's mind is filled with bikes . But I think it's more . Like no space for me.. But it's okay , maybe baby will think of my more after getting the bike
Now , after owning the bike , I have to constantly worry because this stupid husband loves to race . OMG .
Madhates !!!! ARGH !!!
I will be just get mad worried especially at night . ;(

I HATE BIKES . ARGH !! :'(
STUPID ! FYVM SP !! -'-

Just hold me tight , stay by my side and let me be the one who calls you baby all the time .

An advance birthday celebration for BFFL !! :D

2010-07-22T22:44:00.003+08:00

The importance of friends .

Okay . Had an advance birthday celebration for Yuwen BFFL with Joycelyn Furball ! :)
Ate at MOF and gave her a translucent mug with our photo on it and then mum gave her a bra handphone strap !
Alright , I love it when the 3 of us go out together !
The sort of happiness we get is different ! :)
I dunt know how to explain it but it's just different .
Everything is about us being happy . Nothing else !

Mad awesome !

I will be blogging more soon .
I love baby !

A constant in life is change .

2010-07-18T22:55:00.002+08:00

This is family . ♥

Hey w406 .

It's been awesome ! For the past 2 years and lazytocount months .
Gosh , I can totally say that time passed really fast !
I remembered the first time I got invited to church during Easter by my bestaye , Wanyi , when I was still in the midst of darkness . Like my suicidal phrase of life .
Yes , you guys should know how repulsive I was back then .
And truly I caused a hell lota trouble for the older members there . Like Weiren , Enyun , Yaozhong , Caspia etcetc.. And people like Qiming , Jingyuan , Sunthari and the rest continued to be there to shower me with their love and care .
Not only did the love of God touched me , the amount of love w406 poured freely upon me was ... WOW . That's why I stayed .
And of course , from then on my life continued to change for the better !
Seriously , where I am now and where I was then is a complete O_O !! (Y)
Growing up from Inspire camp to Prayer Meetings to Asia Conference !
One of the best decisions I've made in life , that was to become a Christian .

Thank you w406 for all the wonderful memories , help , love , care and presence .
Indeed , you guys made a major impact in my life ! :) , you dunt know how much and I also dunt know how much to put in words . A LOT 就对了 !!

I've seen how w406 grew for the past years and OMG , I never knew we'll come this far and even multiply !
Although I'd miss everything about w406 , I know the change will be for the better !

Goodbye w406 . Hello w539 . ♥

Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me ?

2010-07-17T21:00:00.006+08:00

Loving you .

I , Zoe Perry Da'Love Choo DeeDee Shuyi , take you , Mohammad Aladdin Goh Bin Wee Kastari Ling , to be my hubby , to have and to hold , for better , for worse , for richer , for poorer , in sickness and in health , until death us do part .

See that ? Love , we upgrade already ! :D
I am your wife and you are my husband !

Today , I woke up with an expectancy and the "I WANT BABY" feeling . But I only found the situation shortchanged .
Perhaps it's due to PMS or something , I felt dramatically disappointed .
I was kinda over-reacting and yes , being overly sensitive because love didn't send me a good morning message .
So I was like , *ignores* then *sleeps* !
Yeah , I had a terrible dream but it still wasn't considered nightmare . I totally have no peace in my heart ! Like fear , anxiety ?
Then I woke up and checked my phone and found that love was angry ! :(
I was thinking a lot then , also , I had this fear of getting heartbroken again .
Then I thought that if I wanted to prevent anything , I should leave first .
And then... I cannot let go .
That's when I realised , and I've decided I've got to hold on .

So love , let's keep holding on .
We'll make it through and overcome the trials that come against us .

I won't let you go . Unless you want to be free .

Neutron Star Collision .

2010-07-15T15:50:00.007+08:00

I was searching
You were on a mission
Then our hearts combined like
A Neutron Star Collision

I had nothing left to lose
You took your time to choose
Then we told each other with no trace of fear that

Our love would be forever
And if we died
We died together
And I
I said never
Cause our love would be forever

The world is broken
And halo's fail to glisten
We tried to make a difference but
No one wants to listen
Hail, the preachers fake and proud
Their doctrines will be cloud
Then they'll dissipate
Like snowflakes in an ocean

Love is forever
And we'll die
we'll die together
And I
I said never
Cause our love could be forever

Now, I've got nothing left to lose
You take your time to choose
I can tell you now without a trace of fear
That my love will be forever
And we'll die
we'll die together
And I
I will never
Cause our love
Will be forever ♥

Dedicated to my mushroom-headed sexface baby . ♥ ; ily .
P.S , I know you won't like the tune but I just dedicate lah !

And I love MUSE ! ♥

We'll stand strong !

2010-07-14T21:56:00.005+08:00

I'll stand with you .

Dear Love .

I don't know what to say . I just know that , I love you .
Yeap ! Just as simple as that , I'm simply in love with you .
And our love shall stand strong ! :D
We'll overcome the obstacles that'll come our way , stand firm together in the midst of tribulations and most importantly , we'll keep holding onto each other and never let go .
Let's be as one .

I know that my time restrictions are already a hindrance .
But I'll spend as much time with you okay !!! Because I want to .
And I'll do my best to be the best girlfriend you've ever had !! :)
Tell me just what to do okay ?

I LOVE YOU .

ZCSY (M) GWL ! ♥

We Got Married .

2010-07-12T22:18:00.007+08:00

Hey Love ! :)

Now how should I start .
Alright , I dunt know how to start because I have no idea where it all began .
Or maybe it started with a kiss ? Like sexciting .

Ohwell , now that we're married , you have no choice but to maintain me dah !
Why ? BECAUSE I AM YOUR WIFE . ;p
Muahahahahahaa !!

Okay . So I shall do a list on HOW TO MAINTAIN ZOE .
Here it goes !

1. Honesty .
Yes . Honesty is after all the best security .
I need you to protect me inside out !
And it's about building trust .

2. Affection .
THIS IS A MUST . I want loads of hugs and kisses everyday !
Hug me until your muscles are cramp and kiss me until your lips are swollen .

3. Attention .
I must admit I am a totally attention-lover . I LOVE ATTENTION .
So yes , you must give me super dumb loads of attention !!
Like be my paparazzi ! :D

4. Care .
Show me some concern . Be there for me . Show it okay ?
But please dunt be too overly concern for me as well .
Like tell me not to walk under the tree in case a branch drops on my head ?

5. Affirmation .
Tell me how much you love me constantly ! I just NEED to know .
Compliments works for me too !

6. Do sweet things .
I'd like it when you send me goodmorning and goodnight messages . Piggyback me . Hug me from behind . Peck me . Surprise me with small gifts . Whisper you love me .

7. Be funny .
But not stupid or overboard jokes .

MOST IMPORTANTLY . Love me only . Love me for who I am .

I know I'm really high-maintanance . But I'm just stating it ! :x
Because you dunt have to be perfect .

Also , I'm very sensitive , fickle-minded , stubborn , short-tempered , crazy , nonsensical , etc...

Baby , are you up for it ? :)
Let's start our journey . And it's not about the distance of this journey , but the quality of it .

I love you .

Your will be done .

2010-07-11T00:57:00.000+08:00

Hello . I'm lying on my bed blogging about some rubbish .
Still I know and I know that everything is in God's hands .
And there're some things which aren't within our power to control or change .
Instead of being some loser whinning about why are things like this are happening , I should just trust God as well as seek for forgiveness . And the heart of repentance too .
Whatever is happening , I trust that God knows the best for me .
As for now , I know that's all I can do .

I am a totally disobedient child .
And man am I ashamed .

Sometimes , I really hope that I am not wired in a crooked way .
So that things would also be simpler for me .
Still , I shall be a cleaver and cling onto the Word .

I shall come forth as gold as long as I don't give up .
Let me keep on keeping on .

And baby let's enjoy every moment we have together .

Let's love like never before !

2010-07-09T23:14:00.005+08:00

I'll grab hold of every moment I have with you .

Hey love ! ♥
Today I had an awesome day because I've had a whole new experience today !
It's was rather fun and thank God I'm still in one piece .
Man ! It was exciting .
A couple of near death experiences today . (Y)

There's this moment before where you know that the situation was about to occur .
What I felt was , "That's it !" , and I closed my eyes .
Before that , I was hugging love tightly . And the next moment I 四脚朝天 !
I cannot comprehend this sort of feeling .
But it's something like , "Baby , we can die together ." , and neither of us has to suffer to see each other die right in one another's presence and what's more , the grievance of the death of your beloved .

Of course I knew that we wouldn't die , only we might .
Yes . Thank God for blessing us . ♥

I am taking a hell lota risks recently . I seriously need to withdraw from pushing my luck too hard .
Zoe needs to prioritise God !! RAWR !!!

Lastly , I love baby .
In good times and bad times .
For better or for worse .
Baby , we're invincible ! ♥

Baby , I give you my heart on string .

2010-07-07T21:42:00.007+08:00

I see you , love .

Hey Baby . ;)

I've found you again .
I thought that I would never find another love .

Could it be because of the striking resemblance in your characteristics ?
Wasn't kissing a very common and fun thing to me ?
Why is it that my heart raced madly when you first kissed me ?
Maybe it's due to my desperation out of loneliness and yet it couldn't be .

And boy did I spiralled into serious debates within my thoughts .
Why is it that I would like you of all people ?
I know for sure that this is definitely mad risky but I went on with it .
Why did I do it ? Seriously , I had no idea .
I never thought that I would be with you . And that might be just the perfect reason why .

I knew that none of this would ever be worth the risk .
But , you , are the only exception .
And I know for sure I'm falling fast , in love with you .
More and more each day .

I miss you more each moment you're not around me .
I love you more each moment you spent with me .

And I'm on my way to believing .
Please hold me tight . Please don't let me go .

Yours faithfully ,
~~Zoee~~ :)

Her little heart glows .

2010-07-03T02:12:00.005+08:00

I had a doll whose heart glows for me .
I showered my doll with loads of love and care everyday .
The glow always reacted to me and it can affect me a lot , of course , it made feel like the luckiest girl in the world .
This doll was more than a friend to me .
Everyday I ranted to it , sometimes I get so angry I'd throw this doll around .
Until one day , the glow suddenly died .
It's been more than a hundred day , I must know that this glow is gone forever in this doll .

I'm not looking for another doll . Neither am I looking for another heart that glows .
I am finding the same sort of glow that left my doll .

And I might have found it ?
But what if this doll belongs to someone else , am I suppose to snatch it ?

Bad romance manipulation !

2010-07-01T12:54:00.008+08:00

Hello beautiful people ! :)
Once again , I'm here to rant .

Just recently , I stepped into a humongous pile of dung .
Let's say I was manipulated by my own foolishness caused by some bad romance I experienced .
It's as if I've been bewitched ? Not exactly bewitched too tho , but yeah , I just put it in these words .

And yes , I do admit . I am a complete retard/idiot/stupid or whatever .
.. , I may be really stupid , but I am not THAT stupid .

I work like a debtor . But noo , not because I'm taking POA .
But what you give to me , I'll give back to you with interest .
What goes around comes around works for me .

I might also be your creditor . And I can also easily write off your bad debts .
Note this , I can always forgive and forget . I'm fine with you sucking my blood .
But if you were to suck me dry , well , prepare to die .

I still have some brains . Know that I can ruin your entire life if I want to .

With lovessssssssssssss ! :D

Ranting rubbish

2010-06-30T23:30:00.002+08:00

Hey guys ! I'm here to rant again .

Once again , if you guys had followed me on Twitter , you would have think that I'm gonna post about suitors in comparison with debtors .
Ohwell , I just feel like ranting .

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT TO RANT !?

I WANT TO SLEEP !!!

kthxbye .

Baik baik sayang .

2010-06-28T22:14:00.004+08:00

Aku tak ingin kau menangis bersedih

Sudahi air mata darimu
Yang aku ingin arti hadir diriku
Kan menghapus dukamu sayang

Karena bagiku kau kehormatanku
Dengarkan dengarkan aku

Hanya satu pintaku untukmu dan hidupku
Baik baik sayang ada aku untukmu
Hanya satu pintaku di siang dan malammu
Baik baik sayang karna aku untukmu

Semua keinginan akan aku lakukan
Sekuat semampuku sayang

Karena bagiku kau kehormatanku
Dengarkan dengarkan aku

Hanya satu pintaku untukmu dan hidupku
Baik baik sayang ada aku untukmu
Hanya satu pintaku di siang dan malammu
Baik baik sayang karna aku untukmu

Dear Love .

2010-06-27T22:37:00.003+08:00

Hello .

There is a girl who is deeply in love with you , but yet she is nothing to you .

She haven't exactly reached the friend status in your life but at least you don't see her as a monster anymore .

She wants to be the one that cheers you up when you're sad .

She wants to be the one that you would turn to when you're lost .

She wants to be the one that stands with you through all your trials .

She wants to be the one that shields you from hurtful things .

She wants to be the one that comforts you when you feel uneasy .

She wants to be everything you would need .

She is your guardian angel watching out for you .

And she will brighten up your day even when she cannot brighten up her own .

With love .

OMGWTFLMAO

2010-06-26T23:09:00.004+08:00

I totally LOL at this for quite some time .

孝顺 .

2010-06-24T15:46:00.002+08:00

Alright , I saw this video on Wanyi's blog and I decided to share it with the rest of you !
And wapiang , MCYS not part of this lor , still put Touching Hearts Changing Lives or whatever .

It's a touching video tho I didn't cry at all .

Girl girl hey you go girl !

2010-06-24T02:53:00.009+08:00

Alright , so today I shall continue to do a little bit of ranting .

Like some issues you've got to know about a girl .

For females , in general from my experiences , we tend to think so much we create so much stress for ourselves .

Like we can worry about practically anything there is to worry about !

And yes , it's a choice to think this way .

You know , sometimes when a certain thing happens and you start thinking and you get all lost , stress , worried and whatsoever ? It's an unexplainable feeling .

Even as someone ask you what's wrong , it's really hard to elaborate . Although you've got a whole chunk of rubbish inside of you .

I bet some of you knows how that feels .

As for what has happened , I'm not saying that I have all the rights to reprimand or such but I'm just trying to state my viewpoint as a mutual friend .

How did we even arrive to this shituation ? Being overly concerned about one another ?

About the going crazy part , I totally understand , but , can't you see before anything was well clarified , dissension was already among us ?

Yet , there's no one to blame , because I believe no one actually had the intention of sowing discord in this friendship . One thing's for sure , neither of us is an antagonist within this friendship of ours .

Look at the amount if irony right now .

Things shouldn't be this complicating . It shouldn't be like this .

Couple of days ago we were still mad awesome friends ! Celebrating my birthday ? :)

Remember our K-session ? Dancing never seemed so fun !

You guys are totally another group of totally awesome friends whom I truly love and trust a hell lot .

And if you fucking think it's your presence that ruined everything , you're so damn wrong .

SO DAMN WRONG PLEASE .

But even if so , I should be the one saying that I ruined everything . Like seriously .

Sometimes , I find that we're so damn good it becomes a problem .

I think we tried too hard .

Whatever it is , let's be friends forever ! :D

Because you guys are one of the best friends I've ever found !!

And I love you sisters .

Just say only

2010-06-22T21:36:00.006+08:00

Okay , I'm a rather straightforward person myself , thus , I don't really mind if you were to tell me things you don't like about me .
I mean , I totally need self-improvements . Like talk serious .
So guys , if you have any issues with me , PLEASE TELL ME .
Don't act like everything is alright and I simply continue to do the things that you don't like and one fine day you couldn't take it and the next moment we're not friends .
And don't say as if what I was suppose to know what I was doing is wrong . Like please , I don't share your brain and your thoughts .
Like yah , I'm sensitive but I didn't say that I was that intelligent as well .
How do you expect me to know when you don't even tell me anything at all !

Yes , don't be afraid to hurt my feelings . I can change and learn better because it hurts ! HA !
And if you actually did dropped me hints about some of your issues with me and I didn't catch it , just tell me.. It would be rather obvious if I didn't catch your hint because I'm a rather reactive person .
Don't like sua sua sua at there diam diam then one day just pour everything out and just left me wondering . Seriously , it's damn irritating .

I'm not trying to be like hypocritical or whatsoever since I also understand the risk in the relationship if you were to be overly critical to your friend and like hurt him/her like too deeply .
If you wanted a friend as a middle-person to convey such message it's absolutely fine . But the thing that irks me is that you have issues with me , you go around telling everyone else but me . The worst part is that you would act like everything is totally fine .
Yes , it's two different things .

Yeah , so actually I blogged in general , I have no intention at all to shoot anyone in particular .
You've got to agree that there are some people around us that are like that , right ?
Also , this post is to create an awareness that you can actually rest assure and tell me my bad points .
Other than your issues with my appearance and other things that I can't change , but I'll still try .

I never sleep ah !

2010-06-21T23:39:00.005+08:00

Okay . Just gonna do a quick blog !

Alright . I totally like didn't sleep since yesterday's yesterday ? Then my pimples like worsen only .
I like , lied on the bed for 4 freaking hours ! Until my bed was mad hot .
Then I finally like nua-ed till 6am and I went to jog and then eat breakfast and then play soccer till about 7.45am .
Then I went home to get ready for school and then halfway through class I got kicked out and yeah , went home , napped for like less than an hour and I prepare to meet YL MJ and YW at cine .
I was mad tired can . Bought salad .
Then we like decided to watch Toy Story 3 because Kbox was overpriced .
The movie was mad awesome !!!!!!! Like I nearly cried in it !? But I tahan hor .
Yes , Toy Story 3 is a must catch movie !!! :)
So after movie they went to get icecream while I meetups w Cheryl for guitar class .
Playplayplay then bought fries and some clothes for dad and friend and went to eat some rice at Maxwell then went home .
So at home there were some disputes between mum and I . And it's been a long time since I've heard her use so much vulgarities at once .
But it's my fault tho , for not explaining things and taking her for granted .
She like hide my phone but I managed to find it like I've always did .

So yeahhh , I really need to lose weight . FAT .

The marionette's romance .

2010-06-20T04:25:00.003+08:00

I wish...

A little girl picked up a marionette by a little toys store down the street .
She played with the marionette and threw it away because she got bored .
Soon after , the little girl laid her eyes on another doll .
And this doll belongs to a friend of hers .

Little girl . Please open your eyes .
Your marionette loves you . She belongs to you .
Why do you want a doll that belongs to someone else and not your own toy ?
Am I less fun to play with ? :(

Pull my strings just for a thrill . - Your Guardian Angel .

永远的朋友

2010-06-19T02:49:00.000+08:00

I like the lyrics .

祝我生日快乐

2010-06-19T00:17:00.008+08:00

Dear Zoe , it's your birthday .
You're born to love and you did a great job .
I bet you're happy .
Hope that your wish will come true .

Okay , where should I begin .
It was about a quater before 12 and man , I was in a mad melancholy state .
I didn't wanted to celebrate my birthday at all .
So I was like showering ? And I finished bathing at about 11.59pm when I updated my facebook status and tweeted people not to wish me happy birthday .

The clock strucked 12 , Meijuan was the first to wish me via BBM . Then princess replied my 'donotwishmehappybirthday' tweet , happy birthday . 怪懒 maximumz .
I placed my dirty clothes in the kitchen and the doorbell rang .
WANYI , YUWEN AND JOYCELYN APPEARED AND STARTED SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH SOME STRAWBERRY MILK TEA ICECREAM CAKE(Got 兰梅 and 草莓 and biscuit-based) !! ♥
Then I was like , O_O and :O and !!!!! and -O- and (OHMYGAWD) .
Okay , I totally don't know how to explain the state of bewilderment I was in , but I can tell you I couldn't feel my face at all . Like talk serious .
It was mad pleasant surprise and I had a very sudden and drastic change of mood .
Seriously , when my 3 bestfriends surprised me , I wanted to cry or faint or scream or kill people but I was just stunned ! O_O
And I literally spent the next one hour OMG-ing . Saying nothing other than OH MY GAWD .

Yeah , they totally gave me the best birthday surprise so far . Mad thanks to them !! ♥♥
The next thing I knew was that I was flooded w sms , tweets and facebook notifications .

Then.. Cut cake , take photo , smile like idiot , blahblah , GAVE ME MAD AWESOME PRESENTS THAT MAD ME MAD TOUCHED and BESTAYE went home while BOYFRIEND and FURBALL sleepover ! :)
But halfway I toh , like tired only .

Then I wake up Joycelyn disappear hor ! I like panicked a few seconds only .
Because you know , the surprise macam natural diasater , totally unexpected , so like , trama 有没有 ? (It's a bad description but I like)
And I thought my gay boyfriend gone too but in the end she wrapped herself in my blanket and I thought she's another one of my bloster only . IDIOT .

Alright , then I went to meet Wanyi in the afternoon after lunch-ing w Yuwen at my house .
So it was my birthday and I decided to wear a little more appealing but I think like abit 夸张 . And I totally regretted my outfit .
So I went to ION w my BFFFF and nearly everyone who walked passed bio-ed me up and down .
I FELT SO PARANOID !! I totally lost my mood for shopping and I decided to dine at one corner to hide from everyone else ! ARGH . I was TOO stunning . -.-
And I walked for very long with my bloody heels ! ARGH . My feet like change colour ? ._.

Then I finally got to eat bakuteh w Wanyi ! ♥ . It was dragged from about years ago ?
I remembered it was my uglybetty 时代 when we planned .

After I met up w some zone members I went off to find furball , dajie and carlson .
Walked around and dad fetched me home .
THEN HE BOUGHT A FREAKISHLY HUGE CHOCOLATE CAKE , BAH KUA AND SUSHI . OMG .
Then I ate abit of each . HAHA . Mad bloated .

Wanyi ended my birthday with me while singing 永远的朋友 which is a dumb sad song.... Ironic , and last well wishes once again from Joycelyn and Yuwen via fb comment and sms .

Finally , a shoutout to all the people that wished me a happy birthday because it brought me joy .
My birthday was a total surprise . Never knew people would do these for me . Never knew so many people would wish me .
Thanks all of you , thank you . ;')

Thank God . It's my birthday .

Throughout this bloody birthday of mine , I was only thinking of you .
I wondered what went wrong , did I made you angry again ? I wanted you so damn badly .
My birthday would have been perfect .
Fuck you . Because I love you so damn very much .

The Karate Kid !

2010-06-17T20:54:00.002+08:00

Hey guys !
Just watched The Karate Kid today w the double P's(Wilson and Oswin) aka penguin and princess respectively . And I can yes , that movie was mad awesome !
If I'm not wrong , it's the remake of The Karate Kid that came out in 1984 that was an instant hit ? ._.

I still want to watch Nanny Mcphee and the Big Bang , Sex and the City 2 , Shrek Forever After and Toy Story 3 !
OMGOMGOMG .

Yahh , so today was still not bad .
After that went to play mahjong w Weeling , Suwen and Wilson .

FUCKTARD

2010-06-16T01:40:00.003+08:00

Stupidity and self-centeredness . What's more , disobedience .
I brought this upon myself once again .
There's no one to blame but myself .

I cannot carry this on anymore . No more already .
Zoe please wake up lur pleaseeeeeeeeee !!!! :'(

I need to do what is right . Since I'm old enough and I actually know what is right , by common sense .

I MUST COUNT ON GOD . Despite how much I hate this life now .

A picture speaks a thousand words .

2010-06-15T01:06:00.001+08:00

I think these pictures are self-explanatory sarcasms .

Put me in the dark

2010-06-14T01:04:00.009+08:00

Purchase your glow-in-dark hearts now ! :D

As long as there is love , there is hope .

Like the light that shines in the darkness .

Can't you see ? My heart glows in the midst of darkness .

Alright the above was just a whole chunk of nonsense !
But ain't that picture cute ? :)

Pst. Phil Pringle said that happiness is being contented .
And to be contented at everything I have in life . Yes , count your blessings .
As for me , I'm a blessed child .
I'm always blessed by God . (Y) , mad awesome ! :)

We can all be happy . It's an option .
Just like having the choice to think positive .
Like it's not easy trying to appreciate the annoying lil sibling of yours or mad nosy parents ?
But go ahead and be happy .

I think I'm happy ? Yes . I am .
I haven't lost everything even though I thought I did .

"Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say , rejoice ." - Philippians 4:4

2010-06-13T17:40:00.001+08:00

Yes . I so fucking do .

Next ink taken into considerations .

2010-06-13T13:57:00.006+08:00

love .

I shall get a Romans 8:31 there .

I want to get this on my calves .

This is mad cool .

There's loads more that I've browsed but I lazy to put all of them up .
Totally head for fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com for more !! :D

I'm loving that heart on my finger . And I am going to touch-up my FAITH in my lips .

And I realised the more I inked the worse it gets , like the star at my inner ankle .
There's no meaning to it other than stupidity and impulse .
Although I do like stars !
I am gonna do 'blessed' , 'love' , bible verses and quotes in life .

I'm gonna ink stories . Not exactly art .
I want to be a book that tells others my own story on my own skin .
Than be a 'foolscap for other people to scribbled' - WilsonSYT .

Happiness .

2010-06-13T01:46:00.002+08:00

Today , or more like yesterday , Pst. Phil Pringle came to our church to preach ! :)
We had a totally mad awesome sermon .

Okay , I don't know my wish , I feel so lost .

Day out w Meijuan , Darren and Yanling !

2010-06-11T12:31:00.004+08:00

One of the best verses in the Bible ! :)

Okay , went out w Meijuan , Yanling and Darren yesterday !
Alright , I was late again . HOWEVER , I IMPROVED A WHOLE LOT . Like late 20min ?
Then I was like mad slow because I was wearing heels ! I gey ba lan from 2inch jump to 4inch .
And I totally wobbled on the bus please !! Then like all eyes on me in the center of a ring just like a circus ~

Yeah and so I met the peeps at tanjong pagar .
I was abit dumb to actually wear my heels out where I can actually wear my slippers and change to heels later .
My feet started to hurt already , so I protested to cab to Amoy Street 22 . I paid for the cab fare . $2.80 .
The taxi uncle told me 300m is ver far , okay to cab . (Y) ; good thing I LOVE SARCASM .

Okay , reached The Studio . Makeup , hairdo.. Then Yanling and I nua-ed at the changing room .
So we take photo despite the incredibly tiny and insignificant sign at the corner that says "No Photography" .

P.S , sorry if the photos are not exactly good quality . BB .

Mother . I look fat here .

Yanling ! :)

...

CLASS !

拿被 !

嚼bin .

Look at Yanling man .

Alright , after photoshoot we went to eat BK @ Central and then YL went home because of her mother lah .
So MJ , D and I nua by the river at clarke quay then we bought Barokes and Anchor .
I can say Barokes tasted better than I thought , like I thought it wouldn't be as good if it's in a can .
So we chatted about <3 , x , bi ? Again .

Then the terror began when I dragged and mixed both drinks .
OMG , I can usually hold it better than other girls ? But ytd just toh !

I totally d-texted a lot of people . Mad sorry for my nonsense .

Fuck the boss dunt let me into Azzura .
FUCK HIM I HELPED HIM SELL SO MANY TICKETS PLEASE .

Going to meet Clare soon ! :)

I loved you and became lunatic .

2010-06-11T10:03:00.005+08:00

I see the light, oh what a light
And I am sober
All that you served to me
No longer will I drink it in
I took the time to think it over
I see the you that I never knew
Now it's finally sinking in
I am sober

Because of my stupidity , I ruined everything myself . Again .
Sorry for irritating you .
And , how can I even call you when I'm a sober when.... you don't even want me .

I choose to let you go , because I love you .
One day you'll see , how much I actually love you . One day .

It's Noey's birthday !

2010-06-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

Hey guys !
It's Noey's birthday today and I had a hell lota fun at his chalet and BBQ !! :D

Alright , meetups w Kenton boy and headed to downtown east .
I had a super warm welcome by all of them can and freaking hell !! I entered and I freaking caught dumb loads of eyecandy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Nicholas super duper extremely cute !! I thought he was an 11yo w abs and it turns out he's 14 . Kenton threw him and spinned him in the air . Madloves !!
I was mad happy can ! Plus they all talk to me leh !!! ME !!!! (Y) , except one cpl (N)
I think it's because they all thought Im Kenton's girlfriend .
And I had a lot of common friends w Dawn and Vikki !! They're mad hyper , lovessss .
THEN TIME PASSED SO FAST .
Mad entertaining and fun . We got extra BBQ food from the neighbouring people too . HAHA .
Then Kenton sent me off .

Made new friends .
I CANNOT FIND THEIR FACEBOOK LAH WARAO !!!!!!! ANGRY .

And another eyecandy randomly chat with me . OMG HE LOOKS LIKE JIAXIN !

Mad fabulous buys with Furball

2010-06-09T13:18:00.003+08:00

Alright , since I have nothing to blog about I shall blog about my entire day yesterday shopping with my beloved furball !
As requested by FWhyWhyWhy !! :)

Okay , I was like totally reluctant to wake up for shopping .
Firstly , I slept at a mad 'early' time and I woke up with a mad sabai weather can !
But OMG cannot , it's GSS and it's tuesday and I've promised furball already .

I tell you I was mad kanjiong can !?
Thus , I decided to multi-task which was something I was really bad at .
Smoke and bathe at the same time and halfway water kena ciggy and the entire stick gone .
But it's okay , so I chiongchiongchiong as if chiongster would die man !
And if you've seen my tweets I was mad pissed with the bus 855 can !? I waited for 28min until the bus came and this driver still dunt want to speed you know ?!?!! 怪懒 please .

Then reached and met furball then chiong lunch at her house there then cab to town !
*takes a deep breath*
FEP and bought a white long-sleeved top w a big black ribbon from Insider and fur bought her Pink Romance at a mad cheap price , then Wisma biobiobio , then 313 jiakjiakjiak and bought a black denim jumper from Mila and a pair of mad chio heels from Anna Nucci while fur bought shorts , then Heeren biobio and fur bought her clothes and bag from Fourskin and Punkstar , then ION and bought my ripped leggings then Shaw's Starbucks !!
*phew*
Then dad sent fur to her house and she go meet her friends ~~~

And I reached home with a home-sweet-home feeling !
Because we literally chiong the whole day man . Madloves .
And dad went to collect my jumper for me because I forgot to take.....

Oooh well . Chatting w Melissa now and..
GOT TO GO , I am suppose to meet Kenton at 1pm ? But now...

*Transform* - KANJIONG SPIDER !!!!

I am lost

2010-06-09T02:06:00.002+08:00

I need to change .
I am such a contradiction .
I am lost .
I have no idea what to do .
Isn't this a little unfair ?

God . No more running wild for me .
I want to be a full-time worker .
Let me do what's right and what I'm suppose to do .

I have no authority at all .

2010-06-08T03:59:00.004+08:00

.. I love you ? Is it ?

Nothing is within my control . They're all under God's control .
It seems as if I've entered into a surreal side of this world .
What am I suppose to do ?
Sometimes I really wish that some laws of the Bible would change .

How am I suppose to be happy ?
When all I ever wanted , it comes with a price .
It does .
A pinch of happiness with a huge burden of stress and fear .
This isn't fair .

What is wrong with me .
Dear God . I could really do with some help .
Would You change and cleanse this heart of mine ?

It seems as if I've let myself become a toy of Lucifer .
What can I do .

What should I do ?

2010-06-08T03:11:00.002+08:00

Sweetest Devotion . I am proud to be a City Harvester .

2010-06-07T13:21:00.006+08:00

Recently . I have been a totally moron .
NO IT'S NOT BECAUSE I CONTRIBUTED TO THE $130million BUILDING FUNDS . (In fact I am proud I gave)

But it's because I am totally blinded by my own selfish desires and grief .
I am living in agony everyday . Nearly every moment .
Why can't I see what's more important ? I am being so self-centered and not God-centered .
How can I pray for God to take away my life ? Can't I see what amazing plans God has laid out for me ? My destiny .
But I feel like a total contradiction due to my actions .

I think now more than ever I should stick with the members of the church .
My w406 brothers and sisters ! :)
I shouldn't really care about that love .
I want to be more devoted to City Harvest now !!

In a blink of an eye , I have been in church for 2 years already !
This is where I found my first love . Where I was pulled out from darkness . Where I found out what true happiness means . Where I found my worth and value . Where I found out that there's actually people who truly cares .
What will I do without this church ? Where will I go ? What will become of me ?
It's really scary if all that happens .
But God will make a way ! There's no trial we cannot overcome .

Once a city harvester , always a city harvester . Because we all hold the DNA of City Harvest .

Love and unity - w406 .

On my birthday..

2010-06-05T23:11:00.009+08:00

I want to be your favourite toy .

On my birthday , I want to look like the cutest doll on earth .

Or perhaps makeup like a clown or joker .

Maybe I should stitch up my mouth so I wouldn't talk .

I want to dress up as a gothic lolita . With heels , crosses and chains too .

No one is suppose to be happy on my birthday .

I want to watch the sunrise and the sunset and the moon and stars .

I want a big birthday cake smashed on my face .

Because I'm the biggest fool on earth .

And I wonder if you would remember my birthday . Will you even bother to wish me ?

Won't you..

2010-06-04T00:18:00.004+08:00

Send down Your love . For me .

As I call out Your name .

This melancholy has taken over me .
I feel like I am a walking contradiction .
Dear God , what should I do ? I really want to give up .
Why is it that I would yearn for a fairytale that will never come true ?
What is wrong with me ! Why do I cry at one moment and laugh at the next ?
精神分裂 .

But I know and I know , that Daddy God has great plans for me .
So , Zoe shall keep on keeping on .

My breakthrough will come ! Great things are coming my way , that's why things like these happen .

Let me not be defeat by the devil . I shall stand strong with God .

Let the joy of the Lord be my strength ! :)

A little bit of me .

2010-06-02T22:58:00.003+08:00

If I look prettier will you love me again ?

I don't think you would want to continue reading since it will be simply irrelevant .
Like tweeting too much about how I feel would simply let me wallow more so blogging would be a better alternative as it allows me to reflect and think better .
Idk why it's like that but it works this way so yah .

Today , I was suppose to be excited to go shisha with Clare & co. but I had no reaction or whatsoever . Like weird and stoned ? Idk how to explain this feeling .
Met them , felt weird because I was terribly late .
Shisha at Nabins. Mixed fruit . However I sheesha till headache .
All was well . Yiling and Michelle were mad chio and friendly . But Clare shy lah don't want to talk to me .
Nua nua nua until I found out somethings that affected me greatly .
On the spot , I wanted to cry !! But I tahan my tears . How can I cry in front of people I've just met right.....
Then I left them to find dad . I was rather moody because I already wanted to cry but dad kept irritating me with WHAT FOOD TO BUY . FML .

I really thought that I've gotten over you . I really thought I did .
But the truth is , all the while I've only psycho-ed myself and masked my feelings .
Trying to be happy . I tried so hard .
Even when I went for shisha I didn't even let myself remember our sweet memories together .
But upon hearing the news that you liked someone else is simply heart-wrenching .

Can you love me again ? Please ? I promise I will do anything you want .
I wished for it . I hope it will come true .

Today is the 69th day you've left me . I never thought I would love you this much .

City Harvest Church . Made it on Headlines !

2010-06-02T00:28:00.004+08:00

I'm sure you guys have heard of the news of CHC probe for the misuse of church funds .

Well , it is definitely a hot topic right now as it's all over the news , including on Twitter and Facebook .

As a member of City Harvest and an avid blogger , I must blog my views regarding this ! Madloves .

Many friends around me are always saying that CHC eats money and such and I'm sure you're happy that police are investigating on this case !

And perhaps you would said justice is done or something . HAH ! But God is just .

God is perfect whereas Man is imperfect . And so is their judgement .

I am proud to say that I am one of those who contributed to the $310million for our new Suntec church building .

Call me moron or whatever . I am totally willing to give and now , I WOULD WANT TO GIVE MORE .

The Suntec building is the dream of the church . And we move as one family .

How is it , in any sense , misuse of church funds when in the first place the dream of the church ?

It's like saving money to buy that expensive LV bag that you've always wanted and when you bought it after saving enough , your mother starts scolding you for spending your money casually .

And if the people that complain are afraid of us are being cheated , for goodness sake , the people contributing to building funds includes a high amount of scholars .

I can also assure you that I am not some old woman who buys magic stones with her life savings .

Also , which do you think is a greater misuse of money ?

To buy gold so you can kneel down in front of it or to buy a building so you can use it for worship ?

+ the building has recreational purposes as well .

Think logically , both having a chance of getting prayers answered and one is to buy something of no purpose while the other is to buy something that is multi-purpose ?

I trust Pst. KongHee 100% and I believe that he is blameless .

When God is for us , who can be against us ! :)

Grand Finale of Asia Conference 2010 !! :D

2010-05-31T22:39:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the grand finale of Asia Conference 2010 !

But I missed Fishball PingPong and CaiQin's performance .. Overslept ! :s

But anyway , Dr. A.R Bernard's sermon was mad awesome !

I dunt know how to explain it but you should go and experience it yourself !

It's like speaking in a higher level or something .

After 5 days of AC , I can say it was awesome and I am mad tired !

And I shall progress !! :) , obey .

My calling . WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOO !!

P.S , really sorry if recently my attitude towards you guys sucked . I was mad exhausted and PMS-ing .

4th day of Asia Conference ~

2010-05-30T12:55:00.002+08:00

Heyhey , yesterday was the 4th day of Asia Conference !

Man , I can say I AM TIRED !!

But then it's awesome ! Spiritually awesome that it .

Things happened and such .

I am still a lil lazy to blog what's happening .

And my mood is getting worse .

Ohnoooo....

STOP ZOE STOP .

I NEED TO MOVE AND BE THE SALT AND LIGHT .

I am part of the next generation that will change Asia !!

Bit by bit , I am progressing .

Going for the night service later on ! GO ZOE ! GOOOOO !!!

The third day of AC2010 !! :D

2010-05-29T00:58:00.001+08:00

Okay , today , or rather yesterday , was the 3rd day of Asia Conference !!
Currently blogging w my BB because Oswin is playing Dota w the desktop . And I'm saving time as well .

Anyway , knowing that it is impossible to wake up at 6am , Mich and I didn't slept at all just to attend Dr. Yonggi Cho's session .
Made it into the queue but because we were late by that one minute we couldn't get into Hall 8 !! ARGH !!
If you guys had followed me on Twitter you would have known that I tahan my pee to a really dramatic extent and queued for about 2hrs .
But we still couldn't make it into the main hall !! Mad pissed seriously .

However there was still a strong presence at the overflow room , Hall 10 , which was completely packed ! :O
And I was sitting beside a pastor from Myanmar !
Also , I totally didn't doze off can ! Just stand in awe with me .
Grace of God ! :D

Okay , then we attended Reinhard Bonnke's session and the start already shooked me although I eventually dozed off because I wasn't buey tahan liao !
I'm SOO gonna attend his session later . 不能错过 !

Headed to Changi for lunch and came back to queue for the service at night .

Night service was mad awesome !!
Although I did have the urge to leave at the middle because I was tired and hungry . Foul mood .
BUT THANK GOD I DIDN'T !!!! :D
Because the entire hall was filled w a totally loving atmosphere ! (Y)

And we are the next generation that will take Asia by storm ! Amen !! :D

Asia Conference Day 2 !! :D

2010-05-28T01:55:00.003+08:00

Alright , I think I put the trailer up a little too late .
Anyway ! I went for Day 2 of AC2010 and it's already sucha blast man !!
Pastor Phil Pringle was totally awesome .
Annointing and power and such . Blessing the people of China , India , Pakistan , Vietnam , Cambodia and America !!

I believe for a breakthrough !
I believe our generation shall take Asia by storm !
Amen ! :D

Ohmannn , need to wake up early for tomorrow !!
ASIA CONFERENCE ASIA CONFERENCE ASIA CONFERENCE ~!
This , shall change my life ! :)

It's Day 1 of Asia Conference !!

2010-05-26T23:38:00.002+08:00

Hey guys !

Im gonna summarise my blogpost for today !

Alright , I totally overslept today , like woke up at quite late ?

Waited for dad to come and fetch me to Asia Conference !

And yes of course , Asia Conference was a blast !! Awesome .

But after AC I was like angry , like , literally maximum anger !!

The first AC also like that .

I'm scare of my own mood swings as well , because it takes so much to control .

Ohwell .

Going for AC for all the days !

Tomorrow I must make sure I make it into Hall 8 !!

Breakthrough ! :D

ARGH !!!

2010-05-24T01:31:00.000+08:00

OHMYGAWD !!! My previous blog post wasn't saved and I pressed back it's now ALL GONE !!!
Because I'm blogging w my BB , there's no auto-save function ! ARGH , mad pissed .
Anyway , my laptop is sent for repair , my desktop is spoilt too and the spare computer has no internet ! Madloves .
Thank God for my BB ! If not.... That's it .

FYI , I'm blogging because I'm like having insomia or something ? I've been lying on the bed for the past 2hrs or so .
Totally can't sleep and my mind is filled w thoughts despite trying to get things off my mind .
Still feeling vexed from the date of the previous post . Dunt ask why . Idk .

Going to school later !
I'm gonna wear the cute grey shoes from Cotton On w Furball !
And I'm also gonna wear some bandage to cover my stars .
Btw , $40 to cover up my ugly nautical star and ass-looking heart is worth it .
Done at Artistica by Eric . He freehand-ed . :O

I hope I can fall asleep soon !!
Asia Conference ! Gonna queue latest at 7am at Expo !
Wed start opening liao lehhhh !!! Madloves !! :D

I want to experience a touch , fire ! :)

I need a refreshing !

2010-05-20T22:21:00.003+08:00

I want your heart for dinner .

I am not doing well recently !
I dunt feel good at all . I feel like a complete bitch ! ARGH .
Distress ? Or whatever .
I really want to cry !! But I do not want to cry for myself , pathetic ugly tears .

I am losing my strength to actually be nice .
Like I cannot continue to forgive , to cheer , to liao ah !
I am totally running out of cash and yet I keep spending money !!
This is like the season to be a freaking miser but here I am spending and I am sooo treating money like it's toilet paper .

I need a refreshing .
AND GOOD NEWS !! I CAN GO FOR ASIA CONFERENCE !!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOO !!!!
That's when my life will change ! IT WILL CHANGE .

As for the rest of the things that are going on in my life , I shall set it aside .
Lift it up to God .
I am tired.. But since God never stopped forgiving me . I should not too .
Gambatte Zoe !! :D

I want a touch from heaven . Again .

Blogging lah !

2010-05-16T21:29:00.002+08:00

YAH LAH I VERY LONG NEVER BLOG SO I DECIDED TO BLOG BECAUSE BLOGGING IS GOOD AND I MUST DEVELOP MY HABIT FOR BLOGGING IF NOT I BLOG LESS I MIGHT GET MORE EDGY BECAUSE I CANNOT REFLECT MY DAY AS BLOGGING HELPS ME DO THAT . YES .

Okay other than that please order tickets from me beautiful people . Get to meet hot people there ! :D

Alright , Im like suppose to be studying but I've procrastinated for hours !! :(

Dear Physics , please go easy on me . I love you .

SURGE II @ WAVEHOUSE on 11TH JUNE !!!!

2010-05-14T22:22:00.004+08:00

SMOOVE presents : SURGE II , 'THIS TIME. ITS FOR PRIDE.' @ Sentosa Wavehouse on the 11th JUNE !! Tickets for $25 each w a free drink @ 81133830 !
25 bucks for access to a totally anticipated party , pretty girls and hot boys , pure adrenaline rush and a shot at love ! WU HUA LAH !!

But then $3 you pay again to enter Sentosa hor .

ALRIGHT THIS IS THE ACTUAL EVENT DETAILS !! Go on , CLICK IT AND READ IT .
Okay , you look at the details like super long only then you think you will read till your brain spasm . That is what you think only .

But NO . Just read it , you might EVEN get orgasm .

SURGE II
“THIS TIME. ITS FOR PRIDE”
11TH JUNE 2010
SILOSO BEACH SENTOSA ; WAVEHOUSE
DOORS OPEN FROM 7PM -5AM

ONE NIGHT ONLY !

Contact me : 81133830 (Zoe)

Tickets going at $25 only ! Best mixage party yet baby !!

BUY FROM ME OKAY ? BUY FROM ME LAH ! PLEASE BUY FROM ME .

Like seriously you don't want to miss it . Talk serious .

Tired .

2010-05-14T22:11:00.002+08:00

MYE . I flunked most of it .
Perhaps I am too tired . Or perhaps I am too distracted .
Nevermind it .

I cant wait to have fun .
I am so tired yet I cant sleep .

That's all I've got to blog .
Jiayou Zoe because down the road the sun is shining and every cloud has a sliver lining .

Loves .

It's the MYE man !!

2010-05-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

Alright peeps !
Sorry for not posting in such a long time .
Yeahh , if you had follow me on Twitter or something I'm actually having my MYE now !!
Which is one of the reasons I'm blogging much lesser now .
Being an awesome blogger myself , I'm using my BB to blog before I sleep !
How nice of Zoe . SAY THANK YOU PLEASE ! :D

Anyway ! This time I cannot flunk !
I've wasted 2 years of my secondary school life .
Someone who score straight A's during PSLE , who obtained a score of 223 , retained and dropped to NA as well .
Not a good thing !
However , the main reason I dunt wantu flunk is because my PO said I can go Asia Conference if I do well !! Thus , I MUST GET B's .
Gambatte Zoe !!

Lying down on my bed right now with Boyfriend taking up much more than 50% of it !
ASS , she's sleeping so soundly right now like having sweetdreams sudah .
Texting w Inks&Rings too .
I like making friends out of the unintentional way !
Like some friends are forced to be made out of circumstances like in school perhaps ?
Yeahhh , so this is way cooool !
Found out that we're pretty linked , but what's more , links after links on blogs .

Pray that I'll be able to make it for the highly anticipated Asia Conference 2010 !!! :D
Love living . Live loving . - Sun Ho ! :)

I love you readers , you guys edify me ! Muacks .

TEN WAYS YOU CAN DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP !!

2010-05-09T21:53:00.004+08:00

Hey peeps , today I learnt a lot about relationships , love and such .
Had bible study w my dear Enyun today and I've decided to share a little what I've learnt today .
That is as what the title of my blog is the ten ways you can destroy a relationship .
Relationships in general like friendships .
I find to super essential to know this to survive in society .

TEN WAYS YOU CAN DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP ! :O
1. Manipulation .
Like putting in threatens and such to force your ways into them .
Such things can even come in small forms like being a wet blanket , getting fed up because things in a group doesnt go according to your liking .
Sometimes , just be easygoing .

2. Lies .
When there's no more trust , the relationship will die .
Seriously , this is as obvious as The Boy Who Cried Wolf .

3. Gossips .
It separates the best of friends .
"He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends." - Proverbs 17:9
Seriously , just keep out of talking bad about someone , it'll just backfire and the person will come to know about it . Sooner or later .
I know that times you may want to rant to a neutral friend and then settle the issue rather than keeping silent in front of the person and tells everyone else about the person's issues .

4. Ignorance .
Especially when your friends are at moments when they need someone .
It's okay to ignore the negatives of this irritable friend of yours , perhaps . But do take note when your friend really needs you , dunt ignore them .
Be interested in their problems . To a level as well , you dunt want to be called seybo !

5. Rejection .
Accept people for who they are . Change your mindset first , dunt develop prejudice .

6. Overstay your welcome .

"Seldom set foot in your neighbour's house, lest he become weary of you and hate you." - Proverbs 25:17

I believe the verse says it all .

7. Topic , YOU .

Always talking about yourself ? Just learn to listen too !!

You have two ears and only one mouth please .

8. Broken promises .

When you promise to do something for someone and then you dunt do it .

You dunt even fail to fulfill it , you just promised and dunt do it .

Similar to lying , that's when your words are empty .

9. No returns .

When you borrow money and dunt pay back !

I mean , money is important to us in this world .

A couple of times , it's okay . Everyone has their limits , this doesnt concern generosity or stinginess .

10. Humiliation .

No , not yourself but when you embarrass people in front of others .

Build them up and not tear them down .

Would you still want to hang out with someone that always pulls down your self-esteem ?

So yeah , it's not easy but I'm putting them into practice !!

I hope I can be a better friend .

Not forgetting the essence of any great relationship , is LOVE .

Happy Mother's Day !

2010-05-08T23:18:00.004+08:00

L.A Baby ! The Jonas are back and better !

Fyeah , Im loving Disney all over again !! Just watched Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs .

Miley Cyrus or Selena Gomez ? MICKEY !!

And people follow me on Twitter yeah ? :)

Alright , the official Mother's Day starts in exactly 14mins !

That's right , we should all sit back , swallow our irritated feeling , calm ourselves down and start to appreciate and affirm our mothers .

Yes , Zoe knows that it is HARD.......... To sometimes even say I love you . But just do it !

The first thing we need to do is to accept our mothers for who they are ! :)

We didnt have a choice and so does the mothers .

The labour of love of a mother is easily forgotten and at times even irritating !! Hell yeah .

Always due to miscommunication and things like that , we will seem to 'hate' them ! Fortunately , it's not permanent other than certain despicable situations .

A lot of irony happens in love . Idk why .

Nevertheless ! Just show your mother you love her for all that she has done and appreciate her . Even for the fact she has gone through so much pain to give birth to you .

Like me , you'll never know when there's a time when no one can help , your mum is the one that standby and supports you .

I love my mum . Just as God as placed her , out of every other woman , to raise me as her own .

Thank God for a wonderful mother that still loves me , as me , her daughter .

HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY BOYFRIEND FOR LIFE !! ♥

2010-05-07T23:07:00.006+08:00

OUR LOVE STORY BEGINS ON THE 07th of APRIL 2010 .

WE FELL IN LOVE AND GOT TOGETHER THEN NOW WE ARE LIVING TOGETHER !

I LOVE BFFL AND BFFL LOVES ME .

WE ARE TRULY MADLY DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER .

WE ARE THE MOST COMPATIBLE COUPLE IN THE WORLD .

WE ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER .

OUR WHOLE LOVE STORY IS JUST LOVING ONE ANOTHER .

SO WE EVERYDAY LOVE . LOVE . LOVE .

WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN LOVE .

EVEN IF I HATE YUWEN I MUST LOVE YUWEN BECAUSE WE ARE BFFL THEN BOBIAN .

TODAY IS OUR ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY AND SO WE JUST LOVE LOR .

HAPPY ONE MONTH BOYFRIEND ! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Fictitious .

Desires left unsaid .

2010-05-07T22:43:00.003+08:00

Ohmy !! Im getting fatter ! TALK SERIOUS .

Anyway , just thought of blogging about some things that I've thought about people .

People that are longing for love , attention , care , peace , happiness .

These basic things are often left unsaid yet madly desperate for while living .

Why is it that some people would choose to slack all their time away ?

Other than having no goals and dreams in life .

Sometimes , it could be due to the desire for peace in their lives .

Due to the amount of stress , problems or such faced .

Some people store them away and to choose relax ; practically doing nothing .

Isap rokok ? Lepak ? It brings down the pace of everything that's happening .

Why is that some people would spent all the time playing and playing ?

Playing meaning having fun . It's not wrong to have fun ! I have my daily dose of FUN .

I mean always playing and doing nothing else but play and play .

Be it hardcore arcade gaming , lan gaming , clubbing , rounding , drugs ?

These people have the strong longing for happiness . They are not at all happy .

Thus , seeking these source of entertainment for happiness .

It's sad to see my friends like this . Appearing happy in general , sometimes complaining in life and I can see deep down inside they're empty .

I can see their longing to be filled .

And I want to save them , desperately .

Friends , it may sound strange but the only one that can meet all these hunger is God .

Yes , it's true . I can testify .

Will you touch my hand as I reach out to you ?

Are you willing to give it a shot ?

Open up your heart .

God loves you . Jesus loves you . I love you ! :)

Though I have many imperfections . I want to save all of you , truly .

It's all about confessing !

2010-05-04T22:50:00.002+08:00

Pastors , spiritual leaders and such always emphasize on the importance and the power of confessing .

Recently , I realised that I keep confessing I AM UGLY .
WHICH IS SO POISONOUS FOR ME !!!
I have been feeling really ugly since the day bee left me .
No , in fact I spiraled in depression from that day onwards ; immense FML state .

Confessing and believing in it is different from lying to yourself !
And I've also realised that I had been lying to myself for quite some time .
Like I can lie to myself and act in front of people that I am happy is different from confessing that I CAN BE HAPPIER ! (About moving on)
One is like saying , "I am happy at where I am now ." <- Where I am is miserable , whereas the other is saying , "I can get happier ! And look I already am ." .

*Gosh , as Im blogging now I have craving for something sour and fried . Like lemon chicken or something ?

Back to the point . Perhaps you can go on saying the second , more positive phrase and slot it into your first situation .
Check your heart , are you really happy ? Or are you just living in denial ?
You should know well enough which path or actions you choose would determine a happy ending !
Or you might want to ask your friends since you're most likely in an unstable state of mind .

P.S , just realised again that I didnt blog about myself . Like who do I think I am ?
Anyhow blog , just sleep .

I need to acquire my childlike faith .

Alien or zombie much ?

2010-05-03T23:13:00.007+08:00

Spastic .

Hey guys ! :)
As usual , Im a daydreamer that builds castles out of air more than half the time Im awake .
Perhaps that's one of the reasons why most people cannot figure out what am I thinking . My head is filled with irrational thoughts .
Other than being in love or being super focus on something .

There was one period of time I kept daydreaming about one day , everyone in this world was gone . Be it abducted by aliens or everyone else got infected by the zombie fest or some narcissus person that take control of the brains of everyone and only you and your 4 friends would survive .
Out there in Singapore there are also random people that are also surviving .

If you were to choose a place to stay for about a month , where would it be ?
Who will be your four friends ? :)

I thought of staying at Giant or Carrefour . Preferably Carrefour .
The place must be loaded with a huge variety of food and water .
There must be air-con , beds and some source of entertainment .
There must be spare clothes also .

Wanyi told me she would want to stay at Ikea . Yuwen said Ikea too .
Food is okay , beds are awesome . The fake clothes seems disgusting .
But there's not much entertainment !

Why Carrefour ? (Sounds so advertorial)
When I was young , it felt like paradise to me . Seriously .
Because there's SO MUCH FOOOOOOOOD !!! So many of my favourites somemore !
Ranging from breakfast , lunch , teatime , dinner to supper ! :D
Not mentioning the basic lifestyle necessities ! Like multi-vitamins , listerine , shaver , vacuum cleaner , entire wine section all .
Then GOT A LOT OF TOYS !!! Barbie doll , board games , power ranger , etc.. Even got bicycle can !
Still have entertainment , DVD ! And you can finally watch with the LCD TV with home theater systems your dad cant afford .
GOT WEAPONS ALSO ! Saw , hammer , torchlight , sleeping bag ?

Aiyah , everything you need can be found there !
As for the beds , there's like mattresses if Im not wrong .

As for my four friends . I'll need at least 2 guys .
I wunt mention names , yeah , but it'll be people that I'm willing to be stuck with .

Can I stop loving you already ?

Who am I ?

2010-05-01T22:45:00.003+08:00

Here's a question for everyone of you .
What type of person do you think Zoe is ?

Because I want to know , please help me out people !
My next post will be about what type of person do I think I am .
And look at one of my mottos ; "Live . Love . Laugh" !
These words are strong and they can sure bring you far .
Easy ? Not exactly .

People WILL get tired of living , loving and yes , even laughing .

I need to rest . Because Im totally exhausted , but I shall never say die !
Whatever happens , God is with me . He is the Author and Finisher of LIFE .
Who can be against me when God is for me ! AMEN !!

Today's like a hard candy with a surprise center !

2010-05-01T00:41:00.005+08:00

All the short and furry creatures .

YAY !!!! :D

Look at joycelyn ! :O

Sing like no tomorrow !! :D

Cant see my . Cant see my . No you cant see our lanjiao bins ~

I LOVE KUKU FACE !

Mollah ~

Just realised I didnt got a solo picture w Boyfriend ! D:

So how , you want to open your mouth ?

Hey my lovely peepo ! ♥
As you can see from my photos I obvious has an awesome day out with my two pretty girlfriends Yuwen and Joycelyn !
We had a hell lot of fun together baby !! :D

The day started out badly as usual .
Wake up in the morning feeling so shagged and such .
School was as usual , nothing fascinating other than disturbing my short-tempered chinese teacher .

Chiong-ed home w BFFL and then Joycelyn came and we cab-ed to marina square .
Walked around , ate KFC and camwhore like siaoooo before K session ! (Today last day of the $8 promotion lehh !!!!)
Some songs made us feel down but after awhile we started to get high !!
Like really got crazy like danced in the room like nobody's business .
You know , like release yourself and behave like some mad people laughing like there's no tomorrow .

After K we were like walking around until Joycelyn spotted someone that made me panicked .
Alright , it was mad embarrassing to be running and screaming but that's just me . ;)

Those times together were mad awesome .
Quality times that consisted happiness and sadness and such .
A little bit of everything .
Despite being tired and such , the day out was worth it ! ♥

Greater things have yet to come . Get ready !

Taking my BB Curve a step higher !

2010-04-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

Hey peepo ! :D
I'm lying on my bed all ready to sleep .
But before that , I thought of blogging and since BOYFRIEND is using my lappy , I shall use my BB to blog !
You gotta agree it's cool ! Right ? :/

Just take a look at globalisation ! With this competitive mandate .
I am still wondering when will we get the bar code thingy on us .
FYI , the bar code thing-thing is simply this bar code thing that has your completely database !
Like your bank account ? Your medical history ? Or even your virtual life ?
Then do anything just scan that bar code thing can liao !

I still wonder . Like we might be approve to get married to aliens .
Like these things aren't always true , similar to conspiracy stories .

Oooohh , look at the time !
GOODNIGHT !! God bless you lovely readers . ;)

Paper 1 for tomorrow !

2010-04-27T21:34:00.005+08:00

Hey my beautiful people ! :D
Tomorrow is my exams and I doubt Im studying .
Firstly , I am way too full to study .
Secondly , I am way too easily distracted .
Thirdly , I dunt know how to study .

Since I'll be taking my language paper 1 tomorrow , I personally find it reasonable to be blogging right now !
Why ? Simply because Im like , practising my english now !
Persuasive ? Narrative ? Bloggive ?
So far Im still doing well writing my essays in my blogging style .
Like , the teachers dunt even correct me , let's assume there's nothing wrong writing in this manner .
I hope that they wouldnt penalise marks tho .

Okay , LETTER WRITING .

Dear Stranger

How have you been doing ?
I am wondering if we can be friends again .
Friends like how we were in the past .

The truth is , I detest the new you and I'm letting go of the old you .
Will we reconcile and even be good friends ?
It takes two hands to clap , ~~although I can clap with one~~ .

Can we be friends without barriers ? :)

WithLove ,
Zoe

OMG !! Look at the time .
It's time to do QT w BOYFRIEND YUWEN !

I love God .
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."
- Psalm 18:32-36

Nice korean love mv .

2010-04-25T13:42:00.001+08:00

This is simply touching ! :')
I love korean MVs , like seriously they always do a good job in bringing the story out .

Ask and you shall recieve ! :O

2010-04-25T11:57:00.005+08:00

I love strawberries . And this photo is way too random .

Anyway , yesterday I was talking with Dxl about our relationship problems .
It is REALLY TRUE that God answers our prayers .
Sometimes , when we pray , we also need to be wise first .
Dxl told me after his girlfriend broke up the first month and then they patched , he prayed to God that his girlfriend would love him madly .
Now he's having problems because his girlfriend loves him too madly .

As for me , when I was w bee , I prayed out of the desperation of my heart .
That whatever happens , let bee's feeling fade first .
Because at that time , I knew bee loved me a lot and I thought that the hurt for me wunt be as much . I thought I would be able to handle it . Also , I knew that one day we would break up .

I wondered why would God want to answer such prayers of ours ?
Could it be due to the cries and desperation of our hearts at that moment ?
But isnt it ridiculous and naive to be praying for such things ?

I learnt that God dislikes regrets .
I believe God is making me learn , truly , I learnt a whole lot of this .
God doesnt waste a hurt .
I didnt regret what happened in life .

But I wonder as well , I am also the one that cause myself to fall into these tribulations .
I knew it was wrong for this relationship to take place but yet I went on with it . I turned a deaf ear to God's soft prompting and went on with my own desires .
So is this called a worldly brokenness or a godly brokenness ?
Because godly brokenness causes godly sorrows that pushes you to do good things whereas worldly brokenness pushes you to do the wrong things .

Because of what happened I spiralled into depression and did wrong things again , however , I seemed to have learnt godly lessons from this .

Actually , halfway through blogging I found my answer on why did God let me go my own way and choose to take control again after that .
Which I knew that actually everything is under God's control .

Yahweh , my Almighty God , chose to let me go this way despite the fact He knew I would also be hurting Him back .
Just so I could learn , and I believe there's more to this .
I LOVE GOD !
And He actually help me go and standby so many loved ones all around me just to support me .
My Daddy God loves me . ;)

Miracles and breakthroughs !!

Even if I die , I can't send you away .

2010-04-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

Everyday , I wipe my tears away .
Everyday , reality becomes more brutal .
Everyday , I only dreamt that you would stay .
Everyday ..

Dear Love , it has been 28 days since you left me .
It seems like a nightmare that I cannot wake up from .
Still , my nightmare has to get worse each day .

Now.. I hope I can get sent into Girls Home again .

拥有的回忆 .

2010-04-21T20:32:00.005+08:00

To forget you . To let you go .

I can say that I miss you no more . Or much less .

Because I only miss the times we spent and the old you .

It hurts only because the love we shared , can never be refreshed again . Those fairytale moments .

And also because we were so close , and now we are like strangers .

But , I guess , I still love you .

Wunt rant too much on this blog .

I let you go because I love you .

Being bold !

2010-04-19T20:16:00.006+08:00

Zoe

Wellwell , that portrait was published just a day ago .
The artist Michael Shapcott named it Zoe .
Done by acrylic and oils , seriously , this is a really awesome work .
Look at the movement ! The strokes ! The boldness ! ♥
Stunning and captivating . His works brings out a lot .

Anyway , if one day Zoe went missing , what will you remember about her ?
I hope it's something goooood ! Something that would make you smile ! :D

I thought that I was strong . Other than being weak against temptations .
The only thing that could ever bring me down so much would be the loss of my loved one .
The worst part is not the separation , but the loved we once shared cannot be refreshed again . Like , that's it . That's the end .

Now , I put my entire trust in God .
Let my faith . And fervent prayers , ♥

Starting to get up already . Limping my way .

Zoe's updates !

2010-04-17T23:13:00.007+08:00

Bring it on .

Alright I edited the photo because I was bored .
I really missed The Stars .
When will we have a K session together ?
我要出专辑的 !! Zoe Perry ft. The Stars - 第几个100天 ?
Quick leh people .

Also , everyone is in a money crisis now .
Realise we dunt have shopping outings anymore ?!
Da'BFFs from shop at town downgrade to shop at CHINAtown or lil india .
SMARTS 省钱王 ! WOW WOW WOW !! $$
One day downgrade to slack at void deck ?
But I think we shudnt downgrade because ION got a lot of freebies to eat .
24/7 , MY HEAVEN ! I tiongxim samples okay !!

Today I manifested and learnt loads of things in church .
For the first time I actually screamed so loudly and uncontrollably .
Well not really me screaming but the demon/spirit of torment inside me .
A whole lot of burden just left me at that moment .
YES !! The gift of manasseh .
Indeed God will never shortchange me .

Private ; Gonna reveal much less personal things now .

You want to be free .

2010-04-17T12:54:00.003+08:00

Fragments of my dream .

I cannot do it . Even after I tried so fucking hard .
I thought I could get over it .
I tried living in denial which brought me down so much .
That period of time was simply repulsive .
Then I realised I couldnt do without you because I loved you too deeply .
How can I actually let you go ?

But you want to be free .
And I know , if I really love you , I would .

I tried . I really really tried .
And I shall love you forever , but in the dark .

If you dunt want the commitment , I hope you still want me only .